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Mind the gap: The very amusing English thread

Well do you mind if I join your "conversation" ? :) Maybe it wouldn´t by wrong to try out my Englisch skills.
 
Crizt: You're trying to improve your English skills to finally answer all the mails in your spam folder?
 
Banana bender! ... with blackjack and hookers!*

* and of course a lot of booooze!
 
I love English!!! Especially American English...:-p
 
Aussie English is even better, mate!

Many Americans speak as if they had a hot potato in their mouth. Especially in the southern states.
 
Weeeee!! Finally an English only thread!
Well, we just could surf to another Apple Forum that is actually in English but that wouldn't be that much fun, would it? =)
I vote for making more fun about establishment English! Otherwise this thread becomes rather shallow and pedantic...^^

Alex
 
well, hardly is mainly used as "kaum" and industrial action I only know related to "Arbeitskampf" oder "Streik". Is there a third meaning?
 
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I recently came across an icon over MacThemes and I tried to compose a poem about my Mac Plus. Tell me if you like it! :)

I still recall, when I look back,
This one big friend of mine,
My dwindling thoughts stick like a hack
Of Apples most divine.

He used to be a working man,
With ease, skills and strength,
Better, really, was he than
All PCs in hist'ry's length.

Even though he sometimes failed, hey!
He was my most desire to be;
As then, he rised and sailed away
To Macintosh's eternity.

Each time he boots and loads the goods,
He reads them from a floppy drive.
Always being in good moods,
Never abandoning to strive.

But then, oh no, the time has come,
He felt he would be useless.
'Cause what it all has then been done:
Treat'ning him, like careless'.

It needed twenty years to pass
Until he came to me,
I cleaned him to shine like grass,
I hoped he wanted to be.

In all his deep embarassement,
He felt when he had life regained,
He needed really to be tend,
Since 80s fragments not remained.

And nowadays, in all this stress,
In all this mist'ly troubling mess,
He sits, my love, on my desktop,
Not knowing how he has been cropped.

Even though he is too old,
To make my work be good,
I love him, as I did behold
His gray case, as he stood.

He might not run my OS ten,
As it does my MacBook Pro,
But that's no matter – god bless him when
I fin'lly let him go.
 
Well, my english isn't that good :(
Tz and I want to go to canada in some years. Funny, isn't it?
 
I already love the title of this thread.I probably love the tube more than what is healthy.I recently heard an absolutly fabulous joke:

An man goes to the Doctor with botty problems....

" Doctor, it's me arse. I'd like ya to take a look, if ya would ".

So the doctor gets him to drop his pants and takes a look.

'Incredible'he says, 'there is a £20 note lodged up here.'

Tentatively he eases the twenty out of the man's bottom, and then a £10 pound note appears.

'This is amazing!'exclaims the Doctor. ''What do you want me to do?'

'Well for godness sake take it out, man! 'shrieks the patient.

The doctor pulls out the tenner and another twenty appears, and another and another and another, etc.....

Finally the last note comes out and no more appear.

'Ah Doctor, thank you kindly, that's much better. Just out of interest, how much was in there than?'

The Doctor counts the pile of cash and says '£1,990 exactly.'

'Ah, that'd be right,'' says the man

'I knew I wasn't feeling two grand...'
 
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